Lindsey Vonn Shows Off Her Special ESPYs Thong, The Libs Are TRIGGERED & The Best Nick Saban Impression Ever

What a day. We're over the hump, and safely to a Thursday filled with Lib-mocking and WNBA jokes. I mean, are we lucky or WHAT?

Here I was thinking I was gonna have to scratch and claw for #content on arguably the slowest Thursday of the year, and then BAM – Shane Gillis delivers Christmas in July. Love this dude. Love the energy I'm feeling today. 

I think we're in for a big second half of the year. Let's roll. 

Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps – the one where we shed layers – accidentally – with Lindsey Vonn, and go from there. 

What else? I've got the Libs MELTING down over Shane, an excellent fart during Scottie's approach across the pond, a pissed off Jon Rahm (weird), and I can't believe I missed who the new Wake Forest OC is. 

Rob Ezell! An Alabama LEGEND. If you don't know, you will in a bit. Allow me to jog some memories on this second-to-final Thursday in July. 

Grab you an ice-cold Miller Lite with former Miss. State softballer Brylie St. Clair, and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!

Shane Gillis triggers the wackos 

Didn't see a little Brylie St. Clair cameo coming at the top of the hour, did you? Been a while since she joined class. 

As George once said, she ain't here for a long time, but she's here for a good time. 

Anyway, let's slug down that cold can and all laugh at Sarah Spain melting down over VERY UNFUNNY AND RACIST Shane Gillis:

Incredible. God, I love this from Sarah. I said it this morning, and I'll say it again here …

Shane made it so easy to spot a Lib after his performance last night. The crowd, clearly, was full of them, which made the whole thing that much better. The awkward laughs. The silence. The sheer nervousness that was permeating throughout the building. 

You could feel it through your screen. The tension was amazing. And Shane just kept powering through. 

Caitlin Clark jokes about fighting black women. January 6 jokes. Jokes about Trump deporting Juan Soto. Belichick banging a 24-year-old jokes. 

At one point, he made everyone stand up and cheer for a black woman who he claimed to be a four-time WNBA all-star. 

Except … she wasn't! She was just a regular person! What a rug-pull. What a punchline. What a way to turn the lefties on their heads. 

It was everything I could've imagined. Disney must be in shambles today. 

Who else is pumped for some Wake Forest football this season?!

That tiny little jab at insufferable Megan Rapinoe has been overlooked all day by the internet, but it may have been Shane's finest moment. 

He set the tone right off the bat, and – like Rashee Rice – never let off the gas. 

I said this morning that Shane's monologue officially divides the country into two easily recognizable camps: the sane part of America (folks who laughed), and the Libs (folks who were offended). 

Exhibit A:

Shane Gillis struggles for laughs.

Thanks, People Magazine! Can't wait to read all about it the next time I'm waiting in line at the Publix down the street! 

Hilarious. 

OK, let's move on. Enough ESPYs. We've beaten the horse pretty good today. Sorry, PETA. 

Did y'all know that Rob Ezell is the newest OC at Wake Forest? Me neither. Now, do y'all know who Rob Ezell is? Probably not. 

Luckily, I do. How in the hell could I forget?

Trump's bullhorn, Open #content & Lindsey's whoopsie!

Can't believe I missed that from earlier this year! How did OutKick not cover this hiring? That's on us. On me. We're better than that. 

If EVER we were gonna have someone on one of our shows, it's Rob Ezell. His Saban impression alone would pay for my vacation. When are ACC media days? Next Tuesday? Let's get Rob some shine!

OK, rapid-fire time on this Thursday in July. First up? ACC media days may be next week, but the British Open is right now, and buddy, it's already delivering the GOODS:

Johnson Wagner is BACK, baby! God, I've missed him the past few weeks. Nobody fires up a crowd more for a major than Johnson Wagner. 

Guy is on an unreal run right now. Just firing DARTS into a crowd of unsuspecting fans? What a rocket. What a #content machine for NBC. 

Also … and this is a 100% serious question: is it EVER sunny across the pond? I swear, I've never seen an Open without rain. 

I know that's part of the lore, but my God, it can't just rain 24/7, right? Imagine having kids over there. We're stuck inside for two hours a day in Florida this time of year because of the rain, and it becomes Lord of the Flies within minutes. Minutes. 

It just can't be a great home situation in Ireland. 

Next? Let's go ahead and check in on the situation out in Portland!

Brilliant. What a time we live in right now. I know Trump's in the shitter right now with a lot of folks, but funny is funny. And this is genius stuff right here. 

Also, what's with the orgy talk? What was that all about? Could you imagine the smells coming out of an orgy in Portland? I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Bet Sarah Spain would love it!

Finally, let's end the class where we started it – at the ESPYs! 

No Shane this time, though. Just Lindsey Damn Vonn. 

Take us home, champ!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Did Shane offend you? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.